Lately my whole outlook has changed, well not really changed, just solidified, and after only 46 years you say? What caused this? It could be any one or more likely a combination of a number of items. On New Year's Day I started a journal, for the first time you say? Oh, no, for the 40th time, but I actually kept writing in it instead of polishing off one page then moving on to the next brightly colored object. Truth be told I started it in mid December, but whatever. The point it that I wrote down the things that were important to me to accomplish and even if I didn't go back every day and re-read them, somehow just by writing every day or two, I reminded myself that one of the things I do best is change. I can change anything I want to and now, instead of it just being what I eat (or don't) or think about (or don't) I decided to start being me. The first page on December 15 2011 says at the top of the page, "I am here impersonating my self". Yup, myself is supposed to be one word, but I like to write meaningful six word sentences as a way to clarify or just amuse.
So rushing forward 3 months, I was holed up in a hotel room for the weekend with The Bear and came across a blog written by an ultra runner and came away truly inspired, not just by her story, but by her own self imposed challenges. By a show of hands, who among us doesn't have some serious self imposed challenges?? As the resident Queen of self torture (all mental and spiritual) and self denial, I could almost hear the click in my little tiny rat brain when, after approximately 9 hours of reading, I ended up at the beginning of her story (you can read someone's blog from last to first or first to last post, I did the former).
I also spent some special time watching the TV guide channel. You can tell a lot about a lodging facility based on the quality, or lack thereof, of the viewing options. Pickings were slim but I kept secretly going back to the guide channel because they were showing the Beach Body Insanity cardio workout with Shaun T. In my defense, I don't go in for any AS SEEN ON TV items although I admit that I will watch the Time Life ads for music collections, over and over - it's almost like a little taste of life, pre-MTV. Anyway, being a swamp yankee, I wasn't going to pay $120 for the program, but let's all say yay for craigslist. $60 later, my disks were winging their way to my house.
“At times our own light goes out
and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame
within us.”
- Albert Schweitzer
SLG, you don't know who I am, but I am thanking you for helping me to wake up.
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